The tough questions

May 7, 2014April 9, 2015Claude Hamilton 17 Comments

During my talks, I like to ask my audience a few tough questions. These questions are difficult for many people, but the funny thing is, the people who would rather avoid these questions are usually the ones who need to think about them the most.

The tough questions:

Are you doing a good job? For your country, your family, your friends, and your career?
If you’re building a business, are you doing it for money? Or are you chasing a dream or fighting for a cause?
Do you believe so strongly in your life’s work that you’ve cried over it?
Have you felt the thrill of making a real difference in a part of your world?
Does your cause inspire you to be bigger, better, and stronger?
Are you willing to fight for your cause?

Although these questions can be uncomfortable, the answers will tell you if your life is on the right track. And if it’s not, your responses will put you on the path that your life is meant to take.

There’s a second way to know if you’ve veered off your life’s path, and it has to do with attitude. If you find that you’re spending a lot of time consciously adjusting your attitude, chances are good you’ve taken a wrong turn somewhere. Because if you’re truly heading in the right direction, you’ll be so excited, so passionate about your cause, that you won’t need to make adjustments—you’ll naturally make the right choices for the right reasons because you’ll be able to visualize your goal.

Some of us find our life’s purpose early on, but for others, finding that cause takes a lifetime. If you haven’t found your purpose yet, keep your attitude in check, do the right thing when you make your decisions, and keep thinking about your dreams. Eventually, something will click, your attitude will fall naturally into place, and you’ll know that you’ve found your cause.

It’s important to remember that even if you’ve found your life’s purpose, you’ll probably still spend some time in the Dissatisfaction stage, the place where most people give up because they think it’s just too hard to achieve their dreams. But if you’re tempted to throw in the towel, remember that everyone has something unique to offer and, if you’ve got the right attitude, your best efforts will make a big difference for others—your family, your friends, your colleagues, maybe even people you’ll never meet.

Want your dream life? Find the cause that you’d work towards for free, simply because you feel driven and passionate about it. I guarantee that if you find your purpose, you’ll also discover all the happiness and joy that your life has to offer. And remember, the first step is keeping a positive attitude.

There’s one sentence in my book that sums up today’s post perfectly, so I’ll leave you with this: “You will never, ever regret working your hardest for the thing you care about the most.”

Perspective is everything

April 24, 2014April 9, 2015Claude Hamilton 13 Comments

One of my military leaders was a great storyteller. At the time, I was spending a lot of nights in a helicopter with a team of Americans. Some of those nights were long ones, so our leader helped us pass the time by talking about our missions, and why we were doing them. Those talks had the potential to be pretty boring, but his stories had a way of giving me goosebumps. He made every mission feel significant, even if we were doing something as simple as taking pictures. In fact, his words were so inspiring, I felt like even if I weren’t being paid, I would still be up there, doing whatever we were doing that night.

Why did this man evoke so much commitment and loyalty? Because he showed us that we had a cause. By the time he’d finished talking, we already felt like we were making a difference, just by sitting in that helicopter. And our leader was right—what we were doing did matter, but we didn’t realize how much until he found the words to express it.

After my perspective changed, my attitude improved almost automatically. Now that I had a cause I understood, I had something to work towards. I felt committed to accomplishing a task that would better the world, and that was more motivational than anything else could have been.

Just think about it. In World War II, were soldiers fighting to earn money? Not a chance. They were fighting for freedom, a greater cause that provoked passion, commitment and a sense of duty.

I’ve carried that lesson with me as I worked to build my business. Even though some days were incredibly tough, I was working towards a cause that kept me motivated. And my cause wasn’t money, either. More than anything, I wanted to give my wife a way to stay home. Most mornings, she was in tears as she left for work, in anticipation of being mistreated by her co-workers. So there was nothing more important to me than helping her out of that situation.

Although, realistically, I needed money for her to stay home, I wasn’t visualizing dollar signs when I went to meetings every day. I was focused on my cause—giving our family a way to live, grow and learn from each other.

Once I found my cause, my work wasn’t so hard anymore. I started having fun, because I was able to picturing the life I was working for. The more I pictured it, the more excited I got. And the more excited I got, the harder I worked to achieve my goals. Eventually, even the rejections got easier. I began to focus my efforts on helping others, and each small success brought me a sense of excitement and achievement that kept me going until I was able to help someone else. And now? I’ve achieved that family-oriented lifestyle I was working so hard for. And it’s all because I found my cause. What’s yours?

Caring When It Counts and Your Positive Attitude

April 16, 2014April 9, 2015Claude Hamilton 14 Comments

Last week I wrote about a business rejection that made a big impact on me— because it made me worry about the future of my business and whether or not I had the strength to keep going when the going got tough. But there was another rejection that really bothered me, in an entirely different way. It was an experience that I may never forget, and I wrote about it in Toughen Up.

This rejection happened during those early days of my business, when I was constantly busy setting up meetings, making connections and just generally working hard to get my business off the ground. I was meeting a man at his home to talk about what my business had to offer. I pulled up into his driveway, next to a car with a safety rejection sticker plastered on the window. I glanced up towards the house and saw a big satellite dish in the yard, and flickering images from a large TV in the living room window.

As I walked towards the door, I began to make connections in my mind:

The owner of the vehicle obviously couldn’t afford to fix whatever problem had warranted the reject sticker—or else they would have had it done at the garage. As a result, the car couldn’t be used.
I’ve noticed a strange trend over the past few years. The bigger investment people make in their TV, the less money they seem to have. This man had made a pretty significant investment.

These two conclusions led me to make an assumption—this man needed to earn more money. Why else wouldn’t he fix his car? I wanted to help. I was welcomed into the home, and I spent some time talking with the man and his wife about what I had to offer.

Now, rejection is one thing, but nothing could have prepared me for his final response. He said, very matter-of-factly, “I don’t think there’s anything I want bad enough to do more work for.” I was floored. I wanted to blurt out, “what about the brakes on your wife’s car?” but I held my tongue and glanced over at his wife. When those words came out of his mouth, she paled. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more helpless look than I saw on her face that day. She was about eight months pregnant and she was still getting up every day and going to work. That woman was tough.

But despite her positive attitude, her spouse’s attitude—which featured a serious lack of self-discipline and focus—had caused her to lose her personal freedom. And although she was trying to push through, doing what she could for the family, the toll she was paying was written on her face that day.

I left the home feeling sad for the family. There was nothing I could do to help someone who didn’t want to work, and couldn’t recognize the needs of his family. And unless his attitude changed, his family’s situation would never improve.

I wanted to tell this story because it illustrates how critical it is to have a positive attitude. But even more than that, I wanted to express the kind of impact a negative attitude may have on your loved ones.

It’s All in Your Attitude

February 19, 2014April 9, 2015Claude Hamilton 18 Comments

I once read a book that made a particularly big impact on my life. It was Man’s Search for Meaning, written by psychiatrist Viktor Frankl. In his book, Frankl tells the story of his life as a concentration camp prisoner. This remarkable man survived four different camps, and somehow managed to remain positive throughout the entire experience. His story is moving; in fact, one quote in particular never fails to humble me:

“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
-Viktor Frankl

When I think about these words, I can’t even fully fathom the horrific experiences that these people lived through. They lost loved ones and they were starved, cold and abused. But still, they found it in their hearts to share what they had to give. I hope that if I were in a similar situation, I would find the strength to help people, too.

Some of you will remember that a few weeks ago, I wrote about the Eight Strengths that lead to success. Over the course of my career, I’ve discovered that these eight critical factors have to power to make or break a career, a marriage, or a family.

“Attitude” is the first of these strengths. It means staying positive when things get hard, trying again when you don’t succeed, and learning from your mistakes. Before you do anything in life, it’s extremely important to make sure that you have the right attitude in place. If you don’t, you won’t even get off the ground. And, as I learned from my time in the military, the right attitude begins with good thinking.

For years, leaders and visionaries have known that our thoughts determine our attitudes. The great Roman emperor and philosopher Marcus Aurelius said, “Our life is what our thoughts make it.” And he was right. The people Frankl was writing about kept an attitude of human kindness, despite the fact that everything else was taken from them.

I’ve seen a lot of people start working towards a goal with confidence, excitement and great ideas. But as the challenges begin to pile up (and they inevitably do), many people start to lose that energy and eventually, they give up. That’s why attitude isn’t just about starting strong. It’s about continuing to think positive thoughts all the time—no matter what you’re going through.

It’s as simple as this: we can choose our thoughts. Our thoughts determine our attitude. Our attitude affects our behavior, and our behavior determines the direction of our lives. So before you start your next project, make sure you’ve got the right attitude in place. You’ll need it if you want to succeed.

The Power of What If

November 27, 2013May 27, 2017Claude Hamilton 15 Comments

This article was originally published on one of my closest friends Phil Wall’s blog. Being involved in Phil, Catherine and Manaia’s life, on an almost daily basis, I have seen them go through this struggle from the first moment of finding out the news that Manaia may have a heart issue to seeing her in the recovery room after the operation. I cannot imagine watching Wyatt or Gryffin go through this, but I hope I could handle it as well as the Walls did. Pay attention to how Phil was able to adjust his attitude to help him get through this difficult time.

I have a four year old girl, her name is Manaia – a name from my home land New Zealand (pronounced just like the singer Shania except with an M). About two years ago her family doctor was doing a regular checkup and listening to Manaia’s heart and heard something that did not sound quite right. It was faint she said, but certainly something we should get a cardiologist’s expert opinion on. An ECG and a sedated echocardiogram confirmed a diagnosis of atrial septal defect or ASD.

Manaia’s Heart

Look at this picture and think back to high school when you studied the components of the heart, the aorta, the four chambers etc. Between the upper two collecting chambers is supposed to be a wall that separates the two chambers. Manaia’s heart had a 2.78 cm hole which could not be plugged because of the size and had to be patched.

The cardiologist suggested that because Manaia did not need the operation immediately it would be better for us to wait until Manaia reached a certain weight to lower the chances of needing a blood transfusion and therefore lowering the risk factors during the operation. That wait was 2 years. We found out in late October that her surgery date was set for November 12, 2013.

File:Asd-web.jpg

During the 2 weeks before the surgery, my emotions were swirling…….is Manaia going to be okay? What if something bad happens? What if an air bubble finds its way into her blood stream? What if? negative statements. I’m fairly certain these self-degrading negative assaults on my thinking were not helping me or the situation.

I was recently listening to an audio by LIFE Coach Chris Brady, he was talking about the power and the use of “what if?”. Not just using “what if” in the negative BUT in the positive use of “what if”.

What if we get the best surgeons?

What if I have nothing to worry about?

What if hundreds of friends are praying?

What if everything is going to be just great?

What if Manaia lives?

What if God answers our prayers?

I’m here to tell you he did answer your prayers and ours.

Tuesday 12th, 2013 on our way to the IWK Health Centre

8 am We arrive at the IWK – Manaia is excited about her surgery.

9:30 am Manaia heads down the hall with the nurse, heading to the OR. hahahaha Manaia blowing us kisses as she heads to the OR. Obviously you can tell she’s soooooo upset leaving us. Catherine and I, well we weren’t doing so awesome. Our next interaction would be with the surgeon once the surgical team had completed the operation. They said they they would call us to the office outside the OR as soon as they were done.

1:30 pm We get called to the office outside the OR. The next 15 minutes for me were the most intense 15 minutes to this point in my life. We knew nothing. We were just waiting for the surgeon to come out and tell us how the operation went. My stress level was increasing dramatically. It’s fascinating how negative self talk (unless it’s checked and dealt with quickly) so easily finds its way into our heads and starts to mess with our thinking. Versus positive self talk, like success, MUST be forced.

After numerous futile attempts to side-track my thinking, I pulled my phone from my pocket and started reading through the numerous texts of well wishes and great verses from the Bible that family and friends had kindly sent. One verse in particular slowed the pounding hammer in my chest, and the extreme gnawing pain in my stomach. It was this: Isaiah 41:10 version #1 “Do not fear, for I am with you: do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you; surely I will uphold you with my righteous hand.” version #2 “Don’t panic. I’m with you. There’s no need to fear for I am your God. I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you. I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you.”

The report from the surgeon was everything went great. Waaahooo!!!!

This photo was taken 24 hours after Manaia exited the Operating Room.

November 15th, 2013 on our way home 3 days later.

When you do not have control over certain events in your life what do you do? I put my faith in God. God calmed my fears and answered your prayers and mine.

God is great my friends. I am blessed and highly favoured to have him in my life, and great family and friends to share my life with. Your love, prayers and support mattered. It mattered to my family, it mattered to me and it made all the difference.

Thank you.