Rest in Peace Rehtaeh
Hello Everyone,
The past few days have been a roller coaster ride of emotions, to say the least. A young 15 year old girl named Rehtaeh Parsons living here in Halifax, was at a party about 18 months ago and gang raped by four boys. They took pictures with their cellphones then passed them around at their school. This girl was then labelled a slut and shunned. Many other boys started approaching her for sex as if she wanted more and treated as a willing participant in the gang rape. Sickening.
You would think at this point one of the many kids that received and passed on this picture would have showed it to their parents, out of concern for this girl. OR a vigilant parent would have been checking their kids phone periodically, discovered this picture and called the school or police in an attempt to help the victim in the picture.
Either way, the RCMP and the school were eventually involved and in the end, they did nothing. They said it was a “he said she said” situation or a community issue. REALLY???? Pictures have fallen below the threshhold as reliable evidence??? Then the Justice Minister of Nova Scotia Ross Landry decided to do nothing.
After moving schools multiple times, battling emotional and mental issues stemming from the rape then the bullying, this young girl, now 17, killed herself. A few days ago she hung herself. After clinging to life through life support, she was taken off and passed away.
I cannot believe the number of the people who have let this girl down. I think of all the students who saw these pictures then watched these 4 boys walk around their school acting like big shots, unpunished for their crime. What does this teach all the kids who saw this? How many more indiscretions did this lead to? What lesson did the other kids learn? That it was cool? That they could go unpunished even if pictures were taken?
I wonder how many teachers saw the pictures or heard about it then turned a blind eye? Saw the bullying, heard of it and did nothing? Don’t tell me that teachers don’t have a good idea of what is going on in the classroom and hallways.
I am devastated for this Mother and Father, who one day had a daughter and the next day didn’t.
I am outraged and sad and full of grief and feeling a ton of other emotions about this. I love living in Canada because it always just felt that this stuff happened in the US and not here. That is obviously shortsighted and the wrong view but it felt good to think that was the case. I don’t know who I blame the most. So many people contributed to this terrible chain of events.
Please sign this petition if you want to help in some way Change.org, pass it on if you can. Facebook it or tweet it out.
Here is an article from the newspaper, a copy of a blog post that the girl’s father wrote. It breaks my heart.
Fight Fiercely, one day it may save someone’s life.
This is a post from the blog of Glen Canning, Rehtaeh Parsons’s father, in response to media inquiries about his daughter’s death. Canning posted this on April 10.
My daughter was three years old when we went to watch Babe: Pig in the City. There’s a part in the movie when Babe knocks over a goldfish bowl and the fish falls onto the floor and starts flopping around. When this happened Rae suddenly stood up on her chair in the movie theatre and started screaming for someone to help the fish. She cried for it as I tried to reassure her Babe would help (thank God he did) and that the fish would be alright.
That was the nature of my daughter Rehtaeh. She was like that her whole life. I couldn’t go for a walk in Halifax with her without her asking me for change to give to someone in need. She was always looking out for people or animals that needed help. She called Animal Control Services on our neighbors because they left their dog outside too long. Her room and her life was always full of little creatures.
Sometimes her heart was too big, sometimes it scared me.
They say parents need to teach their children. Instead, it was Rehtaeh who was my teacher. My precious gift. She was the absolute best part of my life.
There’s a wooden box in my house that holds all the memories I have of my beautiful little girl. The outfit she wore home from the hospital, a hand print in clay, art, school cards and drawings, mementoes of her life. Even a newspaper dated December 9th, 1995, the day she came into this world.
I tried to keep it all for her, to have someday when she grew up and had her own family. That day will never come.
Rehtaeh died April 7th at 11:15 PM. She was 17 years old.
She died struggling to live, much as she spent the last 18 months. She hung on right to the very end, when the nurses were telling us if she couldn’t be declared brain dead soon they couldn’t use her as an organ donor. We couldn’t wait any longer. She couldn’t live any longer. And right at the last moment there was a change in her blood pressure as the last part of her brain gave away. She knew she had to leave. It was time to let go and find peace.
It was so like her to hang on right up until the very last second. To give us all a chance to hold her hand, wipe her tears away, and kiss her beautiful face for the last time.
I tried my best to save my daughter’s life. I believe that in my heart.
I asked her repeatedly what I could do, was I doing enough, what did she want from me? She said she just wanted me to be her dad. To make her laugh. To do everything possible to keep a part of her life normal. She said it helped more than I could ever know.
I prayed for the best while I prepared her for the worst. We went to counseling together. Sometimes I was the drive, sometimes the father, sometimes the counselor.
The worst nightmare of my life has just begun. I loved my beautiful baby with all my heart. She meant everything to me. I felt her heart beating in my soul from the moment she was born until the moment she died. We were a team. We were best pals. We often sat on my couch and laughed until we could hardly speak. When we weren’t together she would call me or text me every single day, just to say hi, to say she loved me. The life I had with my daughter was a rare thing. It was wonderful, it consumed me. I was defined by it. It made my life rich and beautiful.
She was amazing.
Yesterday I looked at another wooden box. It will hold her ashes. I hate it.
I had to write something about this. I don’t want her life to defined by a Google search about suicide or death or rape. I want it to be about the giving heart she had. Her smile. Her love of life and the beautiful way in which she lived it.
I found out this afternoon my daughter saved the life of a young woman with her heart. How fitting.
She also gave someone a new liver, a kidney, a new breath, and a new chance to love. She saved the lives of four people with her final gift of life. She was that wonderful.
Someone out there is going to look at the world with my daughter’s eyes. The most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.
To the Justice Minister of Nova Scotia
Rehtaeh Parsons thought the worst outcome for her case would be no charges against the men who raped her but we all know better. The worst thing that could happen would be charges. That they would be found guilty, and that Rehtaeh would sit on a court bench and listen in utter disbelief as they were given parole, or a suspended sentence, or community service. All for completely destroying her life while they laughed.
Why is it they didn’t just think they would get away with it; they knew they would get away with it. They took photos of it. They posted it on their Facebook walls. They emailed it to God knows who. They shared it with the world as if it was a funny animation.
How is it possible for someone to leave a digital trail like that yet the RCMP don’t have evidence of a crime? What were they looking for if photos and bragging weren’t enough?
Why was this treated like a minor incident of bullying rather than a rape? Isn’t the production and distribution of child porn a crime in this country? Numerous people were emailed that photo. The police have that information (or at least they told us they did). When someone claims they were raped is it normal to wait months before talking to the accused?
You have the opportunity here to do something good and lets face it; the court system in Nova Scotia was just going to rape her all over again with indifference to her suffering and the damage this did to her.
My daughter wasn’t bullied to death, she was disappointed to death. Disappointed in people she thought she could trust, her school, and the police.
She was my daughter, but she was your daughter too.
For the love of God do something.
***I’ve been contacted from media outlets from all over the world and as a past member of the media I understand why you all want to speak with me. You have all been very courteous, professional, and respectful. Please know, however, this is the only statement I am able to make. I’m too devastated.***
I feel like I’m dead inside.
I’m speachless!! I can’t bleive this would happen!! Wow!
I only know this one thing that all that did nothing are just as guilty as the 4 boys who did this,so know this and remember this GOD will not forget who you are in the end you will be judged!
It is so sad to read Rehtaeh’s story!
What a lonely road this must have been for this young person…
My heart goes out to her family…
Wow, this is so sad. It’s time fore things to change.
I have nothing I can add that might help the family. We can not undo what has happened but we can start to try to stop this from happening again. it starts with us. AS individuals, as parents. We must live by example, teach by example. I raised 2 children one girl and one boy. I thought my Daughter she was strong and beautiful and smart and could do anything she wanted. I thought my Son that because he was physically the stronger it was his job to protect her. I thought them both to speak up, to act if that saw or heard of an injustice, abuse, bullying and they are teaching their children. It all starts with us. Lead by example.
It is a Tragedy, Yes. I Think of the Sorrow and pain both sides are feeling. A Beautiful Young Life taken, by thoughtless Young boys, Parents shocked that their sons would have no feeling, about invading, trespassing on Her Private, Sacred Area and Blatantly show it off to others with no thought. We are living in a world that is rejecting God more and more, having no Morals whatsoever. Today what use to be Bad is Good Just Do It, It is ok. Our Commercials, Music, T.V. Magazines, Newspapers and some of our Entertainers, help promote this message. One more Games that promote Violence. We are the Parents, we must monitor, give more attention to our children, see what they are doing, check out who they are hanging with and where. Help them know the LOVE of GOD. We are doomed without him he is the Creator of this Universe.
I can’t believe they can get away with something like this! I think they should be charged with murder, manslaughter, or at the very least assisted suicide along with the rape, terrorism, and torture charges they should already have been charged with!
Poor Rehtaeh…poor parents… and poor souls who will undoubtedly become these boys next victims!
One of the worst things about social media is the way these boys smugly and without fear of consequence spread this crime all over, effectively continuing her torture. One of the best things about social media is the way we can now call attention to their crimes and the lack of action taken by the school and authorities to such a large audience in the hope that our voices, banding together, will make the authorities finally DO SOMETHING to bring justice to Rehtaeh’s family and to stop this from happening again!!
Claude, this infuriates me, but saddens me at the same time. I cannot tell you how mad I am right now. Cowards, every one of them. Cowards. The boys who did it and everyone who did nothing.
Why is it.still thecase women and children do not Matter in our judicial systam.Sexual abuse is still a silent.crime,that hardly ever gets the attention or justice it deserves…. Discusting Canada!
God Bless this family & anyone else who knew this girl in her all too brief time here on Earth in God’s kingdom. May she return to her Heavenly Father to rest in eternal peace after having been sent from His world far too soon.
In reading the nearly 100 books that I’ve been blessed to read since having started my self-directed/liber education, that one that stands out so well tying to this human tragedy is ‘How Shall We Then Live?’ by Francis Schaefer. I read it last year, and it was so powerful in how it sketched out the world through the ages, including the Middle Ages, to the Enlightenment, Reformation, et al. Along the way, he talked about the systematic breakdown in how we view life; in short, if we think each person is just a cosmic accident, or tissue mass without a heart, mind, and soul (corrupted as they are by sin from Adam & Eve), no wonder that other kids would treat a fellow kid this way. There’s a lack of a moral compass to guide them through the minefield of life, the valleys that come between the peaks, and the struggles that precede the victories and realized dreams. We can and will fix this at its very roots – and in the short term, praying and taking the lessons from this post can only strengthen our resolve.
This story breaks my heart. Thanks for sharing Claude.
As a father and leader in the community I see this tragedy weighs heavily on your heart Claude. My thoughts and prayers go out to Rehtaeh’s family for their unimaginable loss.
How can we prevent this from happening again? I believe it starts at home within our families. We can provide our children with a foundation based upon respect, courage, and compassion. We can be parents to our children instead of trying to be their friend. We can live the example for other families to follow. We can raise a generation of boys to become strong young men that will protect the vulnerable rather than prey on them.
I’ve heard you say that raising boys to become men is what you were called to do Claude – please continue to lead and many more will follow. The world needs you right now. God bless, Bonnie
This truly is sickening. As a father of a 7-year-old girl, reading the father’s writing in this situation is heartbreaking to say the least. It has me thinking too. How do I raise up my daughter to help her understand that there are people, even classmates, that she may think are friends, but could and would do such a horrendous thing? Even if the government and/or law enforcement indicted those boys, the act still happened. I believe there should be consequences for those who did nothing and could have, but at this point, it may be entirely up to God. My prayers go out to Rehtaeh’s family. Only God can bring peace and comfort is such a situation.
Claude,
I am sad to say this happens all over the world. I am an ED nurse looking forward to retirement but even in health care in the US people don’t report what they suspect. It breaks my heart I fight with staff all the time you don’t have to ask permission to report what you see. Our government has created a law called HIPPA which everyone is scared to break it is a privacy law. No one teaches people that we are still to report of abuse to all minors and elderly. I am sickened by this lack of education I go round and round with my peers. Now I know my superiors do the same tell people it is okay to report. I am so saddened by yet another child bullied humiliated beyond what a mind can grasp. I know God says to forgive but I have an idea of what I would like to see happen to these young men. Jail is not what I am thinking because My grandmother was raped by a man who had been in jail and escaped 20 years ago. I still boil with anger with that he was moved to minimum security by accident. I will be praying for her family and for the young men who did this to her as we are commanded. God will judge but these young men can be saved through Jesus as hard as that is to swallow.
Your gun packing KS/USA friend.
(no I wouldn’t shoot them now that would be too easy)
WOW! I’m sickened, saddened and speechless. Justice must be served. Thank you for sharing this Claude, my name is on the petition.
I normally feel uplifted, when I read on of your blogs, Claude. However, I was on my way to a LIFE promotion event, when I received this post yesterday. I have to tell you that, as a father to a young daughter, this post floored me. I did not want to respond immediately, as my emotions were quite high. Now, you have to understand that since becoming involved with LIFE/TEAM, I would rather listen, read and associate, as opposed to spending time on Facebook or even watching the news. So, when I reread your post today and realized what this young lady and her family have endured…I feel compelled to weigh-in.
I apologize, in advance, if anyone feels that any of my remarks are offensive. I will trust that the moderator will do their diligence, should that be the case.
I am outraged by the sheer ineptitude of ALL the authorities that chose to do nothing, for this young lady for EIGHTEEN months. As a society, we place a great deal of trust that professionals, such as, school teachers, police and politicians, will always intervene, when it is REQUIRED. And when the decision is made to do nothing, despite insurmountable evidence; then I would submit that they are just as guilty as the individuals that originally committed the crime.
It is for this reason that I am signing the petition that you have included the link for. Miscarriages of justice and the decay of society’s moral compass have no place in today’s society and a public inquiry will, by God’s grace, rectify some of the injustices.
To Rehtaeh Parsons’s family, I offer my deepest sympathy. Please take solace, in the fact, that she is a peace with our heavenly Father and that this nightmare has ended, for her.
To my fellow members of Kaizen, I would ask that you click of the link that has been provided. Additionally, write letters to your MPs, MLAs, MNAs and MPPs. Hold these elected officials accountable, by pressuring them into taking action to ensure that justice is done and that, as citizens, our voices are heard.
God Bless.
Rick Green
Thank you for sharing this blog post. The best way to make changes in society is through education. So many people involved in this situation could of impacted the outcome drastically had they had better information. I trust that through LIFE, we will be able to educate society to react better to situations just like this one.
Thank you Claude for using your blog to speak out about such an important issue. This is such an insidious problem spreading all over the globe and while children being the ones perpetrating these horrendous acts, on the surface, may seem like the most horrifying thing of all… the biggest problem is with the adults, the parents and teachers and police officers, investigators, and members of both the justice system and the media machine giving their approval of this kind of behavior through their silence and unwillingness to stand up and say what’s wrong is wrong. Pleasure seeking, instant gratification, devaluation of life and a slew of other signs of decay in the character of adults in our collective societies has caused children to grow up in an environment where it’s believed to be totally acceptable to use other people in any way they see fit. For amusement. For political and monetary gain. And most sickeningly of all as victims in a quest for violence, dominance and sexual release.
My prayers go out to the family of this young girl and all the other young girls out there like her suffering the ill effects of our failures as a society. I pray for all of those who find themselves in a position to do something about it, that they would have the courage to stand up. That we would. Whether that be writing a blog, notifying authorities of specific situations we are aware of, standing up to bullies (be they high school sports fans or corrupt media/justice system employees) or any number of ways we can all be involved.
This has got to stop.
I’m saddened by this story . As I’m reading Im angered towards this evil ! Please know God clearly says in his word vengence is His – he will fight this battle for you ! Praise God you can see how 4 lives will continue in scarafice of your loss, may you be comforted and wrapped in our fathers love during this heartache. Remember this evil was not from God but he can use it for good . Maybe a wake up to others in pain . I pray for you and your family and the strength to help others thru this .
In his grip !
Thank you Claude for sharing this and always having the courage to do what is right.As a father of a daughter,my heart and condolences go out to Rehtaeh’s family.I will hold onto that some thing good will come out of this.I believe that the greatest tragedy here, stated so well by Bob Prankard is, that good men do nothing.God Bless
Thanks for sharing Claude. We all need to keep atrocities like these in our mind unfortunately. If we do not we allow them to happen again and again. Lesson repeated until lesson learned right. The hard part is in order to prevent them from happening everyone has to be on the same page about this. A daunting task that is going to take effort from all of us to achieve and not going to happen until leaders like you Claude and the many involved in the LIFE business take a stand on this and so many other fronts. This is a fight we must fight. For the fate of our current and future generations depends on it. It is as much a fight for our freedom as an invading army at our boarder. Claude, once again, thank you for sharing and leading the way to a better world.
Thank you to all the parents,teachers,law enforcement and public officials that DID stand up and fight for the rights of this girls struggle. It is so sad though Thant many people shrugged it off. If it has been your daughter sister or whatever you would know from the family’s prospective how incredibly hard it is to deal in difficult situations. Not enough people take time to read Dale Carnagies book how to win friends and influence people! In which this topic is covered extensively.
Claude,
I agree with your comments! God bless the family our prayers are with them. As a father, words escape me, as how I feel about the entire tragedy.
Hi Claude
It saddens me that the system let this young woman down. My heart goes out to her family.
Rest in peace Rehtaeh
Ryan
I am terribly saddened, I am not sure what to say. What is wrong with us? Why don’t we get it? What are we doing as parents? What kind of men are we raising? How would I feel to know my son is responsible for something so awful? How do we expect our children to take responsibility if our leaders and our service workers cant? We have to do better, I am so sick of these type of stories becoming normal. You would think that technology would help, you have photos, its on facebook, then you have names. But instead its a “he said she said story” That is foolishness and distorted. Thoughts and prayers are with this family. Thoughts and prayers are with these four men who committed this vile act. This wrong so wrong. Parents wake up! What kind of adults are we raising for the future. What exactly does our future country look like with these young boys not being held accountable. We are in huge trouble.
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.” Edmund Burke
Sadly, Edmund Burke’s quote was proven true in this instance. I pray that justice ultimately triumphs and the Justice Minister along with the RCMP finaly do the right thing and prosecute the rapists to the fullest extent of the law.
Thank you for this post Claude, as a father of two girls my heart breaks fr this father.
This story is very upsetting to me all I can think of is if this was my daughter. It scares me.
Claude, thank you for writing what so many of us have been thinking and feeling. Something has to be done. A lesson learned by not only those accused but of us all as a nation. May God guide us to create the changes possible so that no other families feel the loss, hurt, and anguish the Parson family has. God bless
If this had happened to the Justice Ministers daughter or any of the RCMP the outcome would have been different and that is wrong. It is so morally disturbing that no one was morally disturbed enough by this and therefore failed to act. Have we become so numb of other peoples pain and suffering? Has our connection through social media disconnected us from the homes of our neighbours? Does someone really need to take their own life in order for this lesson to be learned? I hope that I will raise my family to know character and integrity to stand up when something is wrong and to love our neighbours. Thank you Claude for providing a way to help share this message.
It is so sad to realise that this can and has happen in our own backyard. Like you said we used to think that things like that did not happen here but it did. How can something like that happen without any consequences for the perpetrators? How can so many people just ignore what was happening in their own school, their own community? There are so many feelings and questions in my head; I just don’t know what to think. I pray for Rehtaeh’s parents so they can find some peace of mind through all this suffering. I wish them all the best. Thank you, Claude for posting this.
MG Sealy
Thankyou Claude,
My heart goes out to any parents that have to face this tragic event!
I have had tears for this girl and her loved ones no one deserves this.
thanks for sharing your heart and I really hope this open eyes,I am praying that it will and that justice can be met here.
thanks
barry
about changing lives
I had a hard time reading your Blog about Rehtaeh, it just brings tears to my eyes. Then I read her fathers Blog, I had to force myself to read it all. So very sad! Something isn’t right, how can this happen in our own backyard, how can all these kids/adults sleep at night knowing full well this could have been prevented. It cannot and should not just be swept under the rug, hi time for the RCMP’s to get involved and do something about this. My heart goes out to the family, she is a beautiful girl and an animal lover, so that alone says alot about her. Rehtaeh you have saved lives by being an organ donor, you will live on forever! We pray you are at peace!
Thank you again for sharing, CLaude. I had read your post the other day about this family, their beautiful daughter, and the horrific events. I have been praying for peace for the family, and hope that one day they will somehow be able to have peace, and justice. This story needs to reach every corner of our world, to hopefully save someone else from the same fate. I hope everyone can read this, and open their hearts enough to stand up and begin to change things in our society. Changes need to come. NOW!
Again, my heart, my love, and my prayers go out to the family. Rest in peace, beautiful girl.
This story breaks Tonya’s and my heart. As parents, we have so many dreams for the future of our children. To think that those dreams could not only be shattered by the actions of a few and the indifference of the many is disturbing. The most distressing part of it all is that this is not an isolated case. Last month nearly an identical story occurred in Ohio, in a city where the citizens were actually divided regarding whether the perpetrators should be convicted because they were on the football team. What has this world come to when the sanctity of life is so easily sacrificed on the altar of popularity.
As for me and my family, we will engage in the battle of making a difference in this culture by spreading truth through LIFE.
My soul hurts for this situation, thinking of my little girl, I want to weep… I don’t have any thing to say to come close to soothing the emotional distress… I will say that I resolve to fight harder for as long as I’m here in the war on manhood, to be intent on growing my capacity to impact men both young and old to confront and be an example of biblical manhood with honor integrity character and a stiffen spine to do what’s right no matter the personal cost… Rehtaeh’s memory will save others and changed many men’s hearts for you sharing this courageously… RIP Rehtaeh
I think it is scary to see how desensitized youth, and society in general, seem to have become when it comes to emotions, the welfare of other people, choosing right from wrong, and facing the consequences for one’s actions. I am sorry your community has been tainted and affected by this tragic event. I’m sorry this event has happened, regardless of where it happened. These things are becoming more frequent and should not be tolerated. Petition signed!!
Excellent thoughts, Mandie.
You are ABSOLUTELY correct. There is no room in our society to tolerate things, like this. Whether it be from the criminals, or the people that SWORE an OATH to protect us from them.
i read of her the other day and was stunned that this could happen. how very true that it is easiest for people to do nothing, when in fact so many are guilty of so much. may the public outcry now force justice upon them all and may there be ramifications for those who stood by and did nothing. may we all pray for some semblence of inner peace for her family here on earth. thanks for bringing it back to our attention, with an action plan, claude.
All those that have children, especially daughters should put themselves in that parent’s situation and reflect on what you would feel and do. I am pretty sure that those involved or associated in some way in this atrocity have children of their own or have friends and acquaintances that have daughters. What about the people that knew about this and did nothing. Y’all must be pretty proud of yourselves that you didn’t get involved and felt discomfort in any way. As far as I am concerned you all had a hand in his young girls suicide. I hope there is not a day that goes by where you don’t think about this girl and what you could have done to help. You all know who you are. There will come a day when you will have to answer for your behaviour – to a higher entity than our justice system.
Hi Claude
We as a society and parrents need to open our eyes to what’s going on more. This happens in too many back yards and discustes me on any level. What happened here is not something to be passed lightly and needs to be looked at again by authoritues. Let’s not stop here, let us know what we may do to help.
Prayers are with.
Chad & Catherine
This is unbelievable and wrong. Thanks for posting this Claude.
Kody
I’m stunned into shock by the crime, the torment afterwards and the complete lack of action after it all.
How anyone could have been a part of that chain and not shamed into depression is beyond me.
Rest in Peace.
I am so sorry to hear this, it makes me cry and hurt to hear this has happened to a young and innocent person. I pray for Rehtaeh for peace and for her family for peace too. My heart hurts for her family and I pray God will guide them through this… in which no words come to mind.