It’s easy to get discouraged when the going gets tough. But I want you to try something. The next time you reach the point where you can’t even imagine what more could go wrong, and you just want to hide under the covers and admit defeat—try changing your perspective and celebrating instead.
Like I mentioned before, unless you’ve met adversity, you don’t know how strong your character is. You don’t know what you’re fighting against, and you don’t have anything to push you forward. After all, if it ain’t broke, why fix it? Maybe instead of throwing our hands in the air, we should be welcoming the opportunity to grow.
I wrote in my book, Toughen Up!, that people only become great when they have to struggle, adapt, and overcome. And I stand by that. Think about the last time you achieved something great. It wasn’t easy, was it? If you’ve been facing difficulties while trying to achieve your life’s purpose, congratulations! You’re probably on the right track.
Remember when I was first starting out and I experienced those unexpected rejections? Before that happened, things had been going relatively smoothly, all things considered. Of course, there are always bumps in the road when you’re starting a new business, but I was very optimistic and had plenty of energy. So when I was rejected a couple of times in a row, without even getting a chance to present my business, it was devastating. It was hard to push through and keep going. But I did—and I learned from it. I focused on keeping my character strong and, instead of dwelling on the fact that I was rejected, I looked at ways that I could achieve a different outcome the next time. I changed my perspective! I toughened up and kept going.
It’s been years since that disappointing day, and I still get rejected. But now, I try to learn from it so that the next meeting might go differently. And sometimes those rejections are for the best. Maybe that person just wouldn’t have been a good fit for my business.
One of the toughest challenges is learning to deal with attacks on your business and your personal goals. Writer Henry James addressed this when he said, “I don’t want everyone to like me; I should think less of myself if some people did.” Now, that doesn’t mean we have to go out looking for enemies, but I think it’s important to remember that if we’re doing truly important work, we’ll naturally provoke those people. And when that happens, instead of doubting ourselves, we should celebrate the opportunity to strengthen our character.
There’s an old saying that hits the nail on the head: “If you haven’t been misquoted, you probably haven’t said anything that matters. And if you haven’t been attacked, you probably aren’t doing much that will really make a difference.”
Has disappointment or rejection helped make you stronger? Share your experience in the comments!
Great article Claude!
I love the old saying that if you want to avoid criticism then do nothing, be nothing, & say nothing! We need more people courageous enough to get MORE critics! Thanks for all you do!
Tim
Thx Tim, I heard you did amazing in St. Catherines, I was just there and they couldn’t stop talking about ur seminar
Great quote Mr. Hamilton. As I reflect on my week I realized that if not for the setbacks I experienced this week I would not be had a crucial conversation with my business partner and good friend Denis Leger that I fell will change the course of my future forever. Interesting enough, the next morning Denis shared this quote from NY times best selling author Orrin Woodward : “tell me a person’s self talk when he is losing and I can able can predict if winning is in his future.”. That conversation and guidance will forever change the course of my success. I enjoyed your book and appreciate leadership and integrity.
The perspective you talk about is exactly what in many times I have had to do. When you are truly helping others get their dreams and goals, and they give up on themselves after so much time of serving them and you realize you wanted more for them than they did… its a gut check. You are one of the best examples of being tough, staying tough and never lowering the bar, but raising it higher for the truly hungry to achieve what they know deep down inside is possible. Thanks for consistently leading and serving your communities.
Thank you for this article Claude. I think Curtis nailed it too!
Great post Claude. I was talking with Dr Phil as we call him just last night about perspective because I made the statement that I felt I was spinning my wheels , and he reminded me that as long as I PDCA and learn from challenges I’m moving forward. I’ve had a few of those meetings where I was turned down before I could present the business , but I remember Lana saying “Enjoy the journey” and move on. Thanks again for your Posts.
Thanks Claude for your share, it helped me smile and forgive :)
Funny how some things come along just when you need them… I thank my friend and mentor to have shared this great article with me. Since I made the decision, not only to work hard on succeeding personally, but to also guide, support and mentor others on my team to achieve their dreams, criticism has been a part of the every day. But of late it just seemed to hit home a little more. But in the end the support of my children, my daughter Alyssa, who shared from her heart her support and perspectives, said it so well on mother’s day and My son, Jeremie, who supports and understands that this is not only for me but for all of us, that I’m driving debt and encouraging our team by having many late night mentoring sessions. And last but not least, changing perspective – I owe to my up line: Guy and Janique, Frank, Nicole, JL and Nicole, Joce and Cynthia from whom I have learned so much and will keep learning. I would not be where I am today, had it not been for all of them being the Team and friends that they are.
Thank you Claude, for believing in something bigger and better!
Inspiration 101 from the teacher from up north :)
Excellent advice, Claude. Thanks!
Thanks for another great article Claude!
Jon and I recently had to make a bit of an adjustment to our life and business because his job has him working away for 5+ months, although it might have slowed us down a bit, we didn’t let it stop us. And thanks to our amazing team, our mentors that hold us accountable and the incredible system, we are toughening up and growing through this season of our lives. It’s always good to remember that seasons change!
Have a wonderful day!
Jenny
We are having some challenges right now Claude and due to our association with yourself,Joce and Cynthia, JL and Nicole we know that we will overcome them. There are health issues for Mike which prior to our time with Life Leadership would have been devastating for us. BUT thanks to the materials we keep ingesting and the association with all you AMAZING folks we know we will handle it as it unwinds…
Thanks for the leadership and the inspiration
HUGS
Great article Claude – love the book Toughen Up! I love critics – I interpret that as meaning I’m doing something that isn’t the stars quo. Being average is highly over rated!
Awesome post, Claude!
I have a story of turning disappointment and using it to make me stronger. Last year, I got a bad performance review at work. I could make excuses and say it was because I was trying to do stuff I didn’t know or someone hadn’t properly trained me to do, but the fact remains I was responsible for poor work in one area and my statistics reflected it. So did my lack of a raise.
I applied Orrin Woodward’s P D C A process to my work situation. I made a spreadsheet of what I do every day, showing my mistakes in bold red columns, and the work columns in softer colors. As I entered my numbers several times daily, it has become a constant reminder to keep those red columns as low as possible.
The tracking and P D C A paid off! This year I got the highest performance review in our group of 13, and one of the top 5 in our department of over 50. Our company gives raises on a sliding scale, and my performance review this year puts me in the top group, a sure cinch for a top level raise. It has also earned me more responsibilities and privileges other employees are not granted, because I’ve proven myself to be capable and trustworthy.
Hi Cathy, thanks so much for leaving a comment. What an awesome story that is you shared! Congratulations on your successes! Keep up the hard work–it’ll continue to pay off! -Claude
Hey Claude!
Awesome blog post!
My favorite part of this blog is in the middle when you say “I changed my perspective! I toughened up and kept going.” Changing your perspective and thinking in the midst of a major disappointment or rejection is the one thing that really separates the leaders from the followers.
There has been a couple times while playing hockey growing up that a major rejection really propelled my level of play to the next level. The first being in my Minor Midget year (which is our OHL draft year in Ontario) I was cut along with 7 other AAA players from the previous year. I was devastated, but with the help of my parents changing my perspective I moved past it and moved cities to play for a rival team. That year I played with several OHL players and also a future Stanley Cup champion and also on a team that had a much better record then the team I was cut from originally. It truly helped change my perspective and look at the positives in those types of situations. The other time was with a Jr B club in the city, I was promised a spot on the team in the summer leading up to the tryouts. By the end of tryouts they had decided to go with a much older team then was what originally was promised. Myself and many other players were disappointed by the end of tryouts. I then had another choice to make, toughen up and go play for an opposing team again or play at a lower level. I chose the opposing team again which at the end of the year ended up better again. We went to the 3rd round of playoffs, one round further then the team I was cut from in the summer.
These types of situations happen all the time, many players have choices to make in their playing careers! I believe those 2 really helped toughen my skin just that much more and gave me more experience for years to come.
Kody
Hey Kody, thanks so much for leaving a message. Sounds like you’re an awesome hockey player. Hard work, motivation, and a good attitude really can get your far. I’m glad to hear you were able to change your perspective and keep playing! Congrats on making it to the third rounds of playoffs! -Claude
Awesome blog Claude!! It’s so ‘tough’ to remember during the hard times that it is those times that will make us stronger, but time and time again, this proves to be the case. Nobody in the world will escape hard times or adversity. But our attitudes in the midst of the pain will be what carries us through.
Thanks for setting such a good example for all of us to follow. I, for one, will continue to be constantly working on Toughening Up!
Tracey
Claude, it’s like the NY Rangers…they were totally out of the playoffs 3-1 and it didn’t look good for them to even get back for another hockey game. Obviously, they had a stronger will to win than be beat by injuries, setbacks and losses. Good ole’ stubborn will and determination keep me and Patti focused on the goal. Philippians 3:14. And, maybe…the Rangers will be strong enough to hoist the cup in the end forgetting the disappointments and rejections. :)
Great Read! It gets overlooked that adversity is part of the process . For those that endure and allow it to propel them to greater success will have the victory .
Look Foward to more “Toughen up ” snips
Best
Georgia
Great article Claude! Alot of people (including myself) chasing success don’t realize that part of the price for success is rejection & critics. Keep Leading my friend!
Joce